A Little Progress is a Good Thing

One step closer to goal.

Already the next piece is calling.

Oops, I broke the seal.

This morning I woke up with a relentless need to make a diluted cobalt blue glaze and pull it across a clean canvas with a rag, not a brush. Huh? Yes, right in the middle of my horizontal gonna get up in a sec planning, this tap, tap, tap, you know you wanna, would not go away. It started yesterday. In the middle of my diligent work on the shady undersides of the palms, the image of me applying the blue, caressing the canvas almost, kept popping up.

I blame my friend Patti. It's pretty much her fault. Hers and the Phillips Museum. And Julian Merrow Smith. Sure why not blame him too. And John. Yes, let's get a whole blame posse going.

Remember this week is more about staying out of my head, staying in the moment and just getting one thing done after another? 2 minutes, 1 most fabulous thing, all that. Just being present in the moment, not over thinking. Just doing for gosh sakes. How hard can that be?

Hmph. Hands on hips, the artist taps foot and tilts head. Well, actually that is the point at which I broke the silly seal on the next canvas. My muse is not shutting up.

A photo from Patti, a summer show of Diebenkorn's work from his Albuquerque years, Julian's play with edges and John's proclivity for "random is good", are all talking to me.

There will be blue on that canvas by dinnertime tonight. And I will move to the next little part of the palms. Oh, my to do list is still good, very, very good, but this blue is pulling me into a flow...and THAT is exactly what I was after.

Moral of the story? Sometimes a little progress and a luxurious blue are the next right thing to do. We are playing with edges and flow. A musical muse for this? Yes, here we go:



Ahh, come on Brush let's go find that rag and paint some blue. What you thought art was easy?

The 1 Thing Today

This is a 2 minute post. Today, the 1 thing that would make me happiest to accomplish ( my horizontal planning worked this morning) is this part of the painting will be refined. It needs to go darker. It's a tucked away spot that needs to be subdued, but strong. This morning it spoke to me loudest. The other 2 on my list of 3 Most Important tasks are steaming the silks and wading through the mountain of email. I am making tea, my delete finger is ready, the paint is practically mixing itself, and the cheesecloth for wrapping the silks is on its way into the house. But this little piece of the painting, that's what will make me happy today. I'll update later this afternoon.

Tell Me Oh Little Buddha

I am looking for freshness and peace.

And this little guy ain't talking.

I'll try my spa routine in a minute.

Hm, passion or the toss of a coin?

I had one of those dreams last night. No, not one of those dreams. I like those. This was one of those dreams that made me furiously angry and unsettled. Ever have those? The scenario goes along, things are kind of weird, but passably believable and somewhat curious, and then one thing tips the scale. Suddenly there I am throwing everything I could get my hands on and being rather vocal about my, uh, displeasure. I was so angry I woke up trying to catch my breath.

Yep. Not my favorite way to wake up on a Monday.

This is a day for clarity, for 2 minute wonders, and for those Most Important Tasks to be all lined up. Hmph. Usually right before I get up, I think of the one most important thing I need to get done that day. What's the one thing that will make the biggest difference that day? That thing that when I lay down that night will make me feel happiest to have accomplished? Well, that wasn't happening. Couldn't picture it. I was still anxious, confused and provoked. As I lay there in bed, I tried another trick, calling the stillness as Eckhardt Tolle suggests to be totally present in the moment. I opened an eye. Nope. No stillness. I was totally present and in a really pissy mood. What now Eckhardt? Maybe that little gem from Leo's comment thread about making tea. Yeah, just get into the zen of ritual, make some tea, and get on to my post for Organizing Monday.

My thoughts were having none of that. They were more like a herd of kittens just sprayed with a water hose.

Okay. It was just a dream. It is absolutely ridiculous to let something like that intrude on my day. But it is here and now, tapping me on the shoulder, no, pinching me viciously, saying, "Hey, look at me. It's important." "Okay", I say. "I'll look at you, but Mister, you will not get anymore of my day than you deserve." As my dear friend Patti knows, I process things as they present. Keeps the stream unpolluted as much as possible. Kind of like picking up litter before it can become a massive blockage in a clear running brook. I tend to like the way light trickles and gurgles as it passes over smooth river stone.

You see the things that make an artist really good at what we do, also make us vulnerable. When we open up to be responsive, let our muse run free, get in our zone, it makes us open to other input too. Not all of that is good. It can be overwhelming. What to do? I could follow my passion which is now muddied a bit, or I could toss a coin and pick any one thing on my list of important things to do. Today, it would not make too much difference. BUT, and here's the big but, as I move into these things that I do, these rituals, and get anything done, all the while considering the message that is trying to get through, the flow is getting clearer. Some of the dream and the issues with it are starting to make sense. And yes, the message is important.

So little Buddha is smiling at me. His silence made me toss a coin. Coffee won, not tea. This post, not the other. Now spa shower, and then a random pick from the list of Most Important Tasks and one that may seem insignificant, yep, I am tossing that one in too. The dream is not winning, any one of these is going to make a difference. Randomness is a strong ally at times. It gets us out of our heads. But now I know what was bothering me. Hm. Now how to deal with that?

Damn, little buddha is silent again. Aughh, I am heading to that spa shower. Yep. It is Organizing Monday.

Artist As Personal Trainer

Back to the jungle, this tangle of palms.

This area must go much darker.

This area I must leave alone.

And this I must tame a bit, but not too much.

I was getting too tight with this painting and the small blackberry piece as well. Progressing, but getting tight and tense. That is not good. This tangle of greens is to be a meditative piece with hints of the call of the wild. The lavenders are celestial. The browns are grounded to earth. All the bits here and there are to call to primal self. And somehow it must have transcendence. So even when refining, even when being exact, tight is not good.

A few years ago, I had a personal trainer. Ahh, life was good. Neal kicked my butt, repeatedly. We did Super Slow weight training. In a 30 minute session we would work my muscles to total exhaustion. I mean total exhaustion, the kind where you have to sit down afterwards or fall over like a little baby. Each machine we used was loaded and set so that in just a few ( read grueling) reps, we had shaking, quivering,"Uh, Neal , I can't do any more", me. That's when Neal would lean in a little closer, look me in the eye, and say, "Jan, I know you can do it, just one more." Neal lied. There was always one more after that, and then another. We only stopped when the muscles would not move. My mind wanted to go on, my heart wanted to continue, but my muscles were having no more. That's when nice Neal (as opposed to devil Neal) would reappear, and say, "Whoa, we're there." (Don't even get me started telling you about crunches and squats.)

I miss Neal. Not only was my body in great shape, but my mind was right there with it. After those sessions came the water, the rest, the recuperation that gave me springy, relaxed muscles that could move mountains. And Neal believed in me so much, that I did too, even if I wasn't a superjock. That's powerful, that belief.

So here we have me, no personal trainer, and painting muscles that are way too wonky and tight, and a mind that is quickly going there too. What to do, what to do? I don't want so so paintings. I want fabulous work. So I set about artistically and physically loosening up. Painting silk is a physical task. Oh, it is artistic and free for me, but very physical. So after a few days of painting big, loose, and abstract for long hours, I am a bit, hm, fatigued, but in a good way. And I feel looser. Tired. Well, really tired, but ready for water, rest, and recuperation. And the palms and blackberries, I am excited about them again. I see some new things there. Some ideas for transcendence.

Sometimes artists have to be their own personal trainers. We have to keep ourselves fluid. Work out the kinks. So, a little water, a small rest, some recuperation and I'll be good to paint again. And yes, I hear Neal saying,"Jan, you can do it." Yep, belief, is a powerful thing. (Thanks Neal)

Don't forget, it is Naughty Friday, go get up to some mischief.

I Want a Rematch-Puddles 2, Artist 1

Painting in the rain is fun.

Sort of.

Not one silk turned out the way I would have wished.

Well, maybe 1 of the silks is slightly gorgeous. See that coppery and purple one in the second photo? It is one mistake after another. And guess what? It is going to be Lasceaux Cave gorgeous when the colors are set. It has a smokey, warm/cool thing going on that makes my primal heart purr. It is literally built on rain drops, my response to them, and layer after layer of: "Is this enough?" NO. "Too much?" Yes. "This?" NO. "That?" Maybe. All while the rain is sprinkling here and there. This silk has densities of pushing through in spite of my own self until it had body, and rich color, and then patina. It is seeped in imperfection. Rich with I dunno, let me try this, 'cause that isn't it. Ripe with, uh, uh, not there yet... and lots of interruptions. This was not an in the zone day. And I only got half the number of them done that I set out to do.

Here's what happens when it seems like a miss on a silk to me. I say, "Oh well, nothing to lose now", and I see what I can throw at it to pull it off. Anyone ever had that feeling of snatching victory from the jaws of defeat? Yeah, feels good doesn't it? Well, I have a little of that now, but look, only 1 out of 3. Oh, the other two are respectable in person, and they'll look luscious when the colors are set, but I am not exactly pleased. Hm. Now here's the real question: Beverage and chilling now, or deep breath, centering, and get right back out there? It's 6 pm my time. Now, what would Tiger Woods do ? :)

Playing In Blue and Purple Puddles

Yes, that's the plan today with the silks, puddly deep purples and blue. And oh guess what, Mother Nature has just let me know with a big thunderclap, that is her plan too. Puddles and possibly hail coming up soon. Hm. What would happen if....just thinking of snow washed Japanese paper...rain washed silks? Maybe. What kind of Thursday will this be?

Chocolate Silk, $25 , and Ghirardelli Chocolate Chip Cookies

Come on, enjoy it. Shimmery, yummy color on silk.

And, "waiting out a storm" Ghirardelli Chocolate Chip cookies, bite into those too.

Here's some more of the silks from late yesterday, look all you want.

But you may not, NOT, have the $25 I won off the Men With Pens yesterday. Nope cannot have it. Mine. All mine. Not even that "nut graf exposing Viking" gets the prize this time. Why is it that winning cash is so much fun? And the "buy something totally indulgent" instructions that came with the cash even more fun?

Yesterday was just one of those days that could have gone either way. Oh, we had thunderstorms all around, high winds, rain, that kind of challenged my plans to paint the silks outside. But my 2 minute plan has me on deadline. I want x number of pearlescent, shimmery, sensual silks done in x number of days. Think Mother Nature gives one squat about my plans? Nope. Believe me on that one.

So yesterday morning, early set up, a little swirling of French dyes, some brush work, and the first leaves start dancing by on the increasing winds. Not to worry. I have been known to walk over to my neighborhood shop for treats while hurricanes are stirring around in the Gulf. A little Texas rainstorm? Nothing. So I pop back inside briefly to check email, and see that Pen Men have posted a challenge. Hm. I really don't have time, the clouds are getting darker, but I'll give it a try. I make a couple of guesses. The winds are picking up. I run back out to bring the silks on their frames into the shelter of the garage just as the first big splats of rain begin. Hm, I think, "maybe I should check the radar"...ya think?

Rain, in earnest, now beats against the window panes. Time for plan B. I wanted to play with chocolate didn't I? So out come the Ghirardelli chips, the Kitchen Aid mixer and the goodies to whip up some homemade cookies. Ahh, that is such a nice smell on a rainy dark day. While the first silks dry (those winds are good for that), the cookies bake, and I find out this is going to be a little bit more of a storm than a summer shower, back I go to MwP to see if I had gotten lucky. No. Hm. A couple more guesses, and back to work I go. I take the last batch of warm cookies out, photograph and post the morning's silks and yes, make one more guess. That's it. Enough of that. I have work to do.

I am back outside under overcast skies, but there's a break in the rain. So I pour deep Havana and Tabac into a little bit of black, ooh, and some blues might be nice, too. As the clouds move over my head, my brush moves over the silk. Yummy. I love this kind of free. I told Friar, it is the negative ions that invigorate me, in storms and at a seashore. So brush and I skipped, darted, and dashed as the winds picked up again. Splat!...Splat! Oops. The dyes until set will run when wet. So back to the shelter of the garage they go. But I was done. Spent. All was good. Time to clean up. Go inside.

So I wash my brushes and mixing cups. Put away the containers. Clean off my hands and sniff warm cookies as thunder rolled back in. Okay, I'll just check to see if anybody won that challenge. DING DING DING. There it was from James. Janice you won... and a whole chorus of congrats. I looked around at my chocolate silk filled day, and the wonderful beauty that was this storm and there all over the country and Canada were friends cheering for me. So I did a happy dance, accepted the cash and the "well played". I poured some wine raised my glass to them and to myself. Indeed well played all.

Later I would find out those were 61 mile per hour winds that downed a couple of trees and tore a few roofs off. But... I got my silks, my $25, some cookies...and warm hugs from some friends... And I am buying something wonderfully indulgent with the cash. Not a bad Tuesday I am thinking.