Tell Me Oh Little Buddha

I am looking for freshness and peace.

And this little guy ain't talking.

I'll try my spa routine in a minute.

Hm, passion or the toss of a coin?

I had one of those dreams last night. No, not one of those dreams. I like those. This was one of those dreams that made me furiously angry and unsettled. Ever have those? The scenario goes along, things are kind of weird, but passably believable and somewhat curious, and then one thing tips the scale. Suddenly there I am throwing everything I could get my hands on and being rather vocal about my, uh, displeasure. I was so angry I woke up trying to catch my breath.

Yep. Not my favorite way to wake up on a Monday.

This is a day for clarity, for 2 minute wonders, and for those Most Important Tasks to be all lined up. Hmph. Usually right before I get up, I think of the one most important thing I need to get done that day. What's the one thing that will make the biggest difference that day? That thing that when I lay down that night will make me feel happiest to have accomplished? Well, that wasn't happening. Couldn't picture it. I was still anxious, confused and provoked. As I lay there in bed, I tried another trick, calling the stillness as Eckhardt Tolle suggests to be totally present in the moment. I opened an eye. Nope. No stillness. I was totally present and in a really pissy mood. What now Eckhardt? Maybe that little gem from Leo's comment thread about making tea. Yeah, just get into the zen of ritual, make some tea, and get on to my post for Organizing Monday.

My thoughts were having none of that. They were more like a herd of kittens just sprayed with a water hose.

Okay. It was just a dream. It is absolutely ridiculous to let something like that intrude on my day. But it is here and now, tapping me on the shoulder, no, pinching me viciously, saying, "Hey, look at me. It's important." "Okay", I say. "I'll look at you, but Mister, you will not get anymore of my day than you deserve." As my dear friend Patti knows, I process things as they present. Keeps the stream unpolluted as much as possible. Kind of like picking up litter before it can become a massive blockage in a clear running brook. I tend to like the way light trickles and gurgles as it passes over smooth river stone.

You see the things that make an artist really good at what we do, also make us vulnerable. When we open up to be responsive, let our muse run free, get in our zone, it makes us open to other input too. Not all of that is good. It can be overwhelming. What to do? I could follow my passion which is now muddied a bit, or I could toss a coin and pick any one thing on my list of important things to do. Today, it would not make too much difference. BUT, and here's the big but, as I move into these things that I do, these rituals, and get anything done, all the while considering the message that is trying to get through, the flow is getting clearer. Some of the dream and the issues with it are starting to make sense. And yes, the message is important.

So little Buddha is smiling at me. His silence made me toss a coin. Coffee won, not tea. This post, not the other. Now spa shower, and then a random pick from the list of Most Important Tasks and one that may seem insignificant, yep, I am tossing that one in too. The dream is not winning, any one of these is going to make a difference. Randomness is a strong ally at times. It gets us out of our heads. But now I know what was bothering me. Hm. Now how to deal with that?

Damn, little buddha is silent again. Aughh, I am heading to that spa shower. Yep. It is Organizing Monday.